He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
