then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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