Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I cut my penus on the lid.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
