This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
