He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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