she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
