Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
