Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
