My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wish there were birth control emojis
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
