I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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