Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can text with my tongue
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
