That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
