You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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