Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
