my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
