he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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