kristin has been a bad kristin
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
