I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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