So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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