worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
