Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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