i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
