I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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