So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
