ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
