giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
