A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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