is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
