Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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