Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
