I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
