Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
