Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
