i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
