Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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