Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
