Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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