They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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