Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
