found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
