Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
