Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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