put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
