so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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