i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
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