my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
