I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
