her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
