I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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