Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
