Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
