your parents love me but you hate me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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